ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
and she was petting her beer can
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize