you turned your livingroom into a bong?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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