if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
