I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
