We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
