Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
birth control should be required to get into college
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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