is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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