You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
