I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
