He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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