I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize