Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
