my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
