gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
