Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
