I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
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I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
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ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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