Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
