Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
