we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
