Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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