i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
