their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
