i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
