I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
