The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
