So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize