This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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