just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
