Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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