Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
