When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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