dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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