Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
