I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
