me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
So vagazzling was a success
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
