You made me cry and you don't even care
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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