How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
