I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
