Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
