i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
We don't watch enough power rangers
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
