i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
