just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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