I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
