4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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