Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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