One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
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Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
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How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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