im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
That was before I lit my hair on fire
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
