Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
