I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
this will be a night to untag.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
ok first of all what the fuck
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
