My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
