Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
