TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
