Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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