Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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