I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
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