Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
