4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
