We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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