I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
