i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
