nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
