Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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