don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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