dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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