you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
