im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
