So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize