Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
