OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
