I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
