Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
