were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
