I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
