He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Hippo gnu deer
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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