what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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