Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
